Quote:
Originally Posted by babkababy
Caution possible trigger!!!
Thank you Parva, in this particular setting the sexual abuser was an older brother, whom she forgave. That is a beautiful thing but the brother now has burned his brain on drugs. The sisters and she try to take care of him. She is verbally cruel to her husband, who never abuses or says harsh words. She wants to throw her husband away yet will not show the same kindness and understanding for the abusive brother towards her husband.
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I think Parva did nail some important things. It also sounds to me like this woman has a lot of confusion between what is love and what is abuse. Some abusers tell their victim the abuse "is" love. It also sounds from what you have shared is that this woman doesn't feel she deserves to be loved in a "healthy" way. She is mean to her husband because she is trying to show him how unworthy of love she is. Real "love" terrifies her and that is why she is being so mean. She is nice to her brother because he doesn't have the same kind of threat to her as her husband does.
It sounds like this woman has more than complex PTSD, could also have borderline personality disorder.
I am sorry for the husband, he must be at such a loss with this. Is the husband reaching out for help/therapy?