OK, now to get real. I'm going to open up and hopefully nobody has a problem. If so, admin or mods please just delete my account because I don't have the strength to fight any more.

I'm gay. There, it's out in the open. Yes, it does have things to do with my depression today. No, not because I'm gay. I came out in the early 80's and have never had a problem with myself for being gay. My family (the ones that matter) accepted. The rest have kept their mouths shut. I don't know if any of them have an issue or not. Don't care if they do. That would be their problem. Not mine.

After my depression started (and before it was diagnosed), my ex moved a homeless 16yr old boy in with us. Not much that I could say, it was his house. Actually, it was passed to him when his dad died (I was there when that happened).

Well, come later, I find that the ex was trolling a dirty bood store, a couple well known public restrooms and a couple parks for anon sex. He told me that it was my fault because he wasn't getting what he wanted at home so he had to go searching for it.

Did he take any time and go to the public library a couple miles away and research depression? To find out what I was going through? If there was any way that he could help me? No, no and no. Trolling for sex was more important.

Then I found proof that he and the kid were getting it on. That was it. Out the door I went. I ended the relationship the 1st of Nov. 2001. 15yrs, down the tubes.

^^ That's been easy. The years since then have been hell. More later.