The attraction may be somewhat from the motives you describe. But there's more going on. Either you like being with persons you can feel dominant with, or you lack confidence, socially, in the company of your peers - who can reallpy challenge you, or be unimpressed by you. I don't think you're really looking for weak persons to push around. So I think it is the latter case of the two reasons I just gave.

As for "communicating your worries," - again - that would seem appropriate with a true peer. You are trying to make her share responsibility for the ending of this relationship. That approach is a bit disingenous here. I'll tell you why.

You are probably going to make your decision to stay in, or leave, this relationship independent of what she says or does. Oh, sure, if she would vow to utterly reform her errant ways and make good on that, then you'ld give her a chance. But you've lived long enough and are mature enough to know very well that there can be limits to how radical a transformation anyone can achieve. I'm not judging her . . . I'm trying to humanely recognize that she is a product of big influences that she couldn't, and can't, help. You laid them out. That's why I'm saying: "You know better."

It happens to be one of my closely held values that persons coming from a well-endowed background of, for instance, stable parents and a good education, have a greater responsibility in relationships with other persons who are clearly handicapped by their troubled backgrounds. You strike me as a person of integrity, so that's why I'm even bothering to call you on this. You are a caring person. You genuinely are concerned for this unfortunate woman. But you have an obligation, IMHO, to do her no further harm.