Yeah, playing "house" with this woman in the Spring doesn't strike me as such a hot idea. You'ld like to lay some love and caring on her . . . for awhile.

Take a longer view. Suppose you offer to be her forever friend in a limited friendship. Where would that go? Do you really want her showing up on your doorstep, metaphorically or in reality, whenever she is having a significant tailspin. And that's the trajectory she's on. Do you not think that'll likely get old? You'll get sick of it and it'll just get messier.

You can't show her a "better world" like sponsoring her into a club.

You don't want her to change for you . . . but you do want her to change . . . for herself. And you're going to be what? . . . . her mentor? At age 23, you have enough to do figuring out how you're going to make it in life. You can't adopt someone who's 32 and re-raise them. You can't select her goals for her. You can't help someone who is engaged in nothing positive to fix herself. She's got nothing going for her. I'm sure there is great pathos in the mess that is her life, but she is doing almost everything she can to keep it a mess. And that may be all she is capable of.

I don't know how you get out of this gracefully. But I'm pretty confident that, gracefully or not, you'll get out of it. It's just a question of how much angst you'll go through first. This gal has ten years more experience in living than you have. She'll get by. Don't make yourself responsible for her plight.