So I woke up this morning with the feeling that things might be looking up. Instead of wanting to lay in my bed I had the urge to get up and do something. The thought of making a card for my father is no longer totally burdensome. I think (hope) my depression may be lifting.

Normally the depression doesn't lift first thing when I wake up, it's normally a process that happens over the course of a day. But I guess there is always room for firsts.

I feel as if this depression was a signal for me to reconnect with God. I had left my relationship with Him for a while over the course of 2016. Maybe this depression had to happen on the springs of 2017 in order to start afresh and become closer to Him again.

I plan to be a psychiatrist one day. I am interpreting this illness as a way for me to relate to future patients. No longer will I simply just glaze over suicidal thoughts. These are an important issue and the question is so important. I will definitely remember more to ask about them and to act accordingly. Hopefully I'll be able to give better advice too.