yesterday at work i was standing by the self checkout register. my main manager walked by... he said cheer up junkDNA...it's ok. he said "its ok" in like this weird caring voice. it was weird because ive never heard him speak like that before...especially to me. i have a tumultuous relationship with this manager, which is mostly in my own mind. he called me needy one time which i DID NOT like. ever since then ive hated him... i dont think he dislikes me , i think ive created this negative relationship in my mind once again. he jokes around with me, and has even done very nice things for me.

anyway, him saying "its ok" was strange to me but it felt good...like...wow someone actually notices i am not doing well. that both comforts me, and freaks me the F out. because if i can't hide my mental illness at work...then to me that means i am not doing a very good job of getting a grip on it.

what was strange to me as well was that i didnt think i looked overtly depressed...but you never know. maybe he had been watching me or something