I'm referring to short term swings within a longer term condition. In some ways I think I've been generally depressed for 5 years in terms of self-confidence, thinking I don't fit in, suicidal thoughts, etc. This condition was likely the result of me quitting a job to embark on a whole different career. I now know that I may have been at least hypomanic at the time due to the intensity in which I studied this new idea and the fact that I garnered very negative attention from my co-workers and management and then suddenly quit (without really discussing with wife). I poured myself into this new endeavor and then it fell apart about a year later. After that I was in varying moods of depression (the worst being suicidal).. but with shorter term periods of highly refreshed enthusiasm which unfortunately would lead to very bad decisions leading to relationship and business problems. And then depression again. Even when I felt 'normal' I still suffered from the lack of self-esteem and that nagging suspicion that I just don't fit in this world (not necessarily suicidal though). I don't know.. now that I've written this.. I suppose this fits in a lot with how Bipolar II is described: Mostly depressed.