Actually you are right I do not want to throw my ring, I want to put it back on. And I will! Our pastor is a great person and I trust his advice, he does not take sides and told us both like it is. He told me that I have dealt with my anger and that he sees a change. He told her that she has a wall up because of what has happened in the past and the more I push against this wall the stronger it becomes. I can't help but feel that this is all my fault and if I had been a better husband and father and listened to my wife telling me to get help that I would not be where I am rigth now. I am not throwing a pity party, it is just how I feel. I did not do those things to get a step closer to her, I just felt like they needed to be done. Oh well such is life.