I read your post and my heart is breaking for you. 17 yrs. is a long time to be depressed. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for about 9 yrs now. actually, the first doc wasn't that good. Finally found a great one who helped me tremendously. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with bone cancer and past away. I ended up seeing his nephew who is wonderful.

I have also seen several therapists that didn't help me. Finally, I chose to see a holistic therapist and have been depression free now for several yrs.

I think your first step is to find a good therapist who you feel you can talk to. If not, find another until you find one that you can talk to and helps you. I would also suggest finding a good psychiatrist that you can talk to that treats you with respect. If he/she doesn't, run like mad and find another. That way, you can receive a med or meds to help you. I wouldn't go to a primary care physician because I just don't feel like they understand psych meds well at all.

Depression generally can not be overcome without medication.

As far as this site, you came to the right place. People here are wonderful. If comfortable, try the support chat room. Lots of great help in there. Just jump in and say you need help. If no one is there, go to another chat room, and say you need help. I have noticed that when that happens, people run to your rescue.

Feel free to PM me anytime.

Blessings and Welcome,
Peacemaker (Sherri)