I tried to purge. via vomiting. for those of you that know me...that's not something I can do. for some incredibly stupid reason...I am physically unable to vomit...not for lack of trying that's for sure. I did a bit, but not enough. i failed even at something so simple...that's how i feel right now. and i know that's bad.

what did i purge over? 300 freaking calories. that's IT! it's nothing but then again it's everything...it's 300 somethings that will haunt me for the rest of the day. 300 failures. i'm starting to realize...that i'm in a bad place right now. i need....i don't know what exactly i need but...i need.