Being stuck forever. Just not being able to do certain essential things, not surviving without support. I'd just accept the worst. Being alive but caged. It's the schizo part, not the mania part (mania is the only time I'm actually "productive", allowing me to escape my invisible prison; it's negative symptoms and they just remove so much positive, any normal desires have been removed from my existence, I wish for severe depression so I can desire, to want something, fighting it and wanting relief without the destruction that mania causes which I fear as much as the prospect of staying in this state where I slowly wither away).

Schizophrenia... seriously!?

Who else thinks they'd prefer schizophrenia (to summarise: you are less likely to die but more likely to be as good as dead, pretty much, but by all means, convince me BP is worse) and why?