thank you.. I talked to her about our differences and that we won't be able to make it in a long-run. You are exactly right, it is a combination of too many factors that worry me, not just the messy room..`It would worry me way less if the room was messy but not with a ton of empty beer cans :\
now that I am on a friendly terms with her, I feel more open to help without feeling like I am nagging someone to change
Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
I have two reactions...one is to ream you out for being judgmental, etc., and then the other is to say, she's just not the one you're looking for. And she's not. And I think what's stopping you from cutting it off is that you don't want to be judgmental or seem judgmental. But you can't change how you feel or what you want in a relationship. I think you are 23 and being VERY mature about seeing the red flags and deciding she isn't right for you.
BTW, I'm in my mid-30s and my place is often very messy. My family life sucked. But I understand that there are multiple factors going into your "Red flags," it's not those things alone, but the culmination of so many things that bother you.
Tell her you just want to be friends. Or that you aren't ready. I don't know, you're going to hurt her regardless of how you put it, because rejection just hurts. So just be gentle.
Seesaw
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