I finally told mum how upset I feel when she tells me I make her depressed and she understood my suffering I didn't except her too but knowing she understood where I came from made me feel better. I pretty much felt like she never understood or cared to understand how I felt but now that I know she is aware of my feelings. It makes this battle easier to fight because all I really ever wanted was her to acknowledge how I felt. I didn't want a magical wand to fix my problems all I wanted was to be heard. If talking about my problems and feelings look like I want pity so be it I'm not staying silent for the sake of pleasing others anymore.