I'm wondering what you mean by "I feel more open to help . . . "

This gal has what is now called "alcohol use disorder." (Doctors have kind of retired the word "alcoholic.") That's what a room littered with beer cans means. How do you "help" that?

I would encourage you to go to an Al-Anon meeting and pick up some of their literature . . . especially since you have a pattern of being attracted to substance abusers.

Substance abusers - drunks and addicts - aren't best described as people living "on the edge" who "rebel against social norms." This is not merely a Bohemian lifestyle. This is a person who is very sick. And she has not "turned her life around." I have to disagree with Stewie on that. Her problem isn't just her "history." She is deep in the throes of deterioration now. To find that objectionable is not being "judgemental." It is being sensibly discerning.

What separates you aren't mere "differences." Difference would be, like, you're a vegan and she is not. Or: you're a liberal and she's a conservative. This is way beyond "differences." Her life has fallen apart, and she is not in the process of putting it back together.