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Clearly, I was calling out people's veiled accusations and judgments for my own reasons. I think, luckily, it's contributed to the community in the forums where I've done it, too.
So, maybe it's just that now I can choose more judicially when and where I do it based on my own needs and my perception of potential community benefit, and not a co-dependent need to "rescue" somebody else?
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I think it's important to find a balance with doing both. The idea of the site is that of "support". So that is finding a balance to do self care, but to also recognize that sometimes others can be having a hard time, might be experiencing a gang up on situation and could use some help even if it's in a PM where you can reach out to that member to say, "you are not being treated nicely and I am sorry".