I read your post and sympathize with your situation. It must be very difficult to deal with this dillemna as it seems there is really no one for you to discuss it with. You can't tell your wife how you feel and cannot talk to the one you feel you love either. Wow, that's a tough one there. I think that perhaps you need to really find out what your priorities are for your life and what you need in life at this point. I think it would be a good idea for you to see a therapist either with or without your wife. You say you have everything you should want in life but you obviously are not happy for some reason. I hope you can find out how to become satisfied with your life and it may mean making some changes and taking some risks, too. Or it may mean becoming more happy with what you have. I don't really know the answer and it's for you to discover actually. A good therapist will be able to help you get through this crisis in your life. Good luck to you.