I thought the depression broke but then it came back with a vengeance. I hate, hate, hate this. I work for myself and I can't concentrate on anything for more than 10 minutes. Hardly making money again.. and I know my wife is stressed. She isn't saying much because she knows I'm depressed. I seriously want to quit what I'm doing and just take a job..but we live so far north in the middle of nowhere there are no options. I refuse to work at a minimum wage type job because my status as artist/craftsman represents the last vestige of self-esteem that I have. My kids are proud to have a swordsmith father... and that means so much to me. But things can't go on this way either...

I've been trying to get into see my psychiatrist but we are still dealing with her being 'out of network' for insurance. Looks like we might have to just pay out of pocket until that gets cleared up. Yet again.. I'm a financial strain to my wife.