I am sorry for your loss.Losing a parent is hard.It does get a little easier as time passes though,but I am not sure the grief ever really goes away,I think we just learn to live without them.

I lost my Father to cancer too,and even though I knew it was going to happen it was still a shock to get the news.It took awhile to get the image of him in his casket out of my mind,it did eventually fade though.

I am happy yours wasn't abusive,mine was,and I honestly don't know which would be harder,having a good,kind loving father and losing him or having an abusive one.Maybe both are equally hard,just in different ways.

I am also not sure if I miss him or if I miss how it should have or could have been...