Thanks MommaD, I brought my sexuality up because it does have some bearing on what's going on with me.

@Misterpain, the ex and I got together in 1986. The cheating didn't start until after my depression got super bad, a decade+ later.

So, after the breakup, I started searching for groups. No, not for sex. I was looking for social groups. I wanted to make some friends. HA! Fat chance in this ***** hole of a city.

My hometown which is about 1/3 the size, has an LGBT center. It had one when I came out in the early 80's and still has one. This place? There was one that lasted for about 1.5yrs and then, POOF, it was gone. Now there is nothing. What's left? A couple bars and Craigslist (don't get me started, it would get me banned). All guys want is quickie anon meth fueled sex. Nope, not happening.

Fast forward to Christmas of 2015. My friend Phyllis (80yrs old) was having dinner at her place. Her son who lives with her was supposed to drive out to the valley to pick the cousin up. Well, the son is an effing PUKE! He wouldn't do it. The other son lived in the valley but was driving a 4x4 pickup and was bringing my ex in (that son was living in a travel trailer on my ex's property. My set up, long story. A BIG favor for that son) and couldn't bring the cousin in. So she asked me. I said fine. I wasn't to happy. I also said that I did NOT want to drive the cousin home. Because it would be dark and I have some night blindness.

Dinner went well. After dinner, asshole son went back into his bedroom to never be seen again. It fell to me to take the cousin home. I was spitting nails.

I got the cousin home. Then the fun started. The next thing I remember was a strange noise from the front of my car. WTF? I pulled over, got out and looked. Half the bumper was draging on the road. Oh *****!!!!!!! I go look in the car, airbags blown. I rip the bumper off and throw it in the back seat. I sit there and I don't even have a clue where in the hell I am. It took me about 15 minutes to find an arterial.

I got the car home and pulled it in the garage. She calls me. I told her what happened. She bawled and bawled. Asked if I'd ever forgive her. I said yes. But that I'd NEVER forgive her son.

We were OK until June of 2016. I sold the car to her oldest son after his truck went belly up. Well, she kept calling me and telling me how happy he was with the car. Blah, blah, blah. She should damn well have known better. She was rubbing salt in an open wound. Not had I only lost my car, I'd decided that I probably shouldn't be driving for the rest of my life.

I've ALWAYS had wheels since I was 17yrs old. Always. Now I'm walking or on the damn bus. Guess what? On Sunday, I have to walk 2 miles to get a bus because I'm on a loop route. A doctor's visit is an all damn day ordeal.