I feel embarrassed admitting what makes me feel embarrassed.
When I have a very social profession, with lots of contact and communication to peers, how can I admit social relations make me nervous.
I don't want to change what I do. I don't want people to tell me I should instead do this and that. I don't want my fears to limit who I can be. I don't want my fears to do the chose instead of me.
But I feel like a fraud. I am afraid I am not capable of. I fear other people look at me and judge my options based on how shy I am.
How can I know if I can do something if I never try?
But is this only about option, and fight or should I only go to were I feel comfortable because it is best for my physical and mental health? Can I really win my fears? Am I being proud for not accepting them? Or should I live knowing I am limited?

I don't want to think I am not capable. But what I deep down I feel like I will never be. And that just makes me feel bad about myself. It adds to the self hate. In fact I am hating myself right now and thinking that I must be stupid.

Do things really improve with time? And I am just imagine people thinking how incapable I am.