It make a lot of sense to me, what you are saying.
I am always worried that my therapist will disappear.
Even though I think I could survive at this point without him, I don't want to. He just means so much to me. Our relationship took a long time to develop and I constantly worry that it is tenuous. I have talked to my therapist about this. He's said things like, "Where would I go?" And I'm like, "I don't know. People just disappear." But, you know, he hasn't. And even if something happened to him, like could happen to anyone, I think this is just the risk we have to take to have this kind of connection.