I agree I am in a similar situation. I don't talk to many people in my family due to various reasons but all of the reasons have to do with mental illness on their parts an mine.

I think if I did have my family or friends (an actual best friends severed ties with me because i wasn't available enough to be "present" when we met) because I was always focused on my kids.

She told me it was too painful to watch me suffer and it was affecting her MS.

SO, I see a therapist because it is the only way I can get some stuff on the table to see if I am the problem or how to fix things that I can't see from the outside about myself.

I do know exactly what you are saying. We have to pay to feel like someone cares about us...it s*cks