@Bill3: I think my both parents are narcissistic. They also didn't allow me to express my feelings, and do what I want to do. They always yelled at me, and punished me, emotionally and physically. They dictated my whole life. They are still trying to do so. I also think my father has autistic traits. He doesn't know how to regulate his emotions. He is very logical and has no room for emotions. He has little regard to how others feel, because I think he doesn't know how to relate emotionally. He is not sociable as well but not anxious around people. I feel I'm a lot like him, except I have anxiety because of the fear that was instilled in me as a child. I know this has something to do with my situation, but how knowing this will help me? Again this wasn't my point of the thread: I wanted to know if I'm alone in this feeling that I don't like (not just afraid) to connect with people, and if this is something can be changed or I have to deal with it as it is. As I said, I can talk to people and pretend to be sociable and learn some skills, but I have no internal motivation to do so. Talking to people doesn't bring me positive feelings as it does to others. Even with family. I feel indifferent. I do so just out of courtesy and because I have to do it to go on with my life. I sometimes spend weeks without saying a word. I speak only when I feel I have to.