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I'm constantly asking myself similar questions. I'm battling again with SIs, albeit not quite as bad as they were previously. Sometimes I just wonder if all of the pain and suffering is worth living.
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Dx: BP2 and MDD
Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia
Diagnosed in May 2016
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