Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
I have a friend who kind of likes to needle people. Early in our friendship, years ago, she told me how she had become very disliked by some of the people she worked with because they didn't like her attitude. She flat out told me that they found her to be arrogant, and she said she came to believe they were probably right. For years she's told me how she is working on being humble. It's kind of humorous to me that she has told me about a hundred times, "I'm very humble now." I think to myself that humble people don't go around bragging about how humble they are.
In actuality, she talks like a know-it-all, is always disparaging others, and seems to have an insatiable appetite for attention. She loves to talk about the story of her life, but quickly becomes visibly bored and restless, if I get to talking much about myself. She can be smart and funny and interesting. At times, I really enjoy going places and doing things with her. On the other hand, I find she lacks empathy and is not a good person to turn to, if I need someone to listen to me.
Recently, she called me and said she wishes I would call her more often, even when I don't have time to meet up with her . . . because she said, "I just like to hear the sound of your voice." So last night I called her to ask if she had gotten over a cold that had been bothering her. After listening to her for awhile, I talked a bit about how my week at gone. Right away she started challenging me and taking issue with a recent decision I had made. She started needling me. Our conversation transformed into a debate . .. with me feeling on the defensive. When she didn't seem to be winning the debate, she said she said the discussion was making her "uncomfortable."
I'm tired of her taking anything I confide in her and turning it into grounds for us having a "war of wits." And I don't like this tendency she has to needle me. I am going to be avoiding her for awhile.
I'm not sure I want to end being associated with her, but I'm sick of her taking pot shots at me.
What can you do with people who like to needle others?
|
I can really relate to this.
I know at least 2 people who are like this.
One of them loves arguing for the sake of pleasure, and he loves being right. I won't go into much details, but because he loves to argue/needle and apparently reasoning with him is impossible, instead of fighting fire with fire which I've tried a few times, I fought fire with a firewall - I deleted him off Facebook, it was the only way to show him how I feel. It still bothers me because he was a best friend to me, but I have to move on, at least until perhaps the fire will turn off one day.
As for the second person, who is also a long-time friend, has recently shown such signs of needling, too. Not in the severity of the first one, but enough to remind me of how much I hate it.
What I do is just mind those kind of people less, keep going on with my business with no need to sacrifice my well-being for their carvings.