. . . when I was at grad school, students where trying to get close to me to help them, but when they didn't need me, I didn't find them. A perfect example of this big lie). Obviously, this is how the world works. I just cannot accept that. I feel I'm forced to follow the rules. I wish I could live like a hermit in a desert. This is the only genuine way for me to live. All other ways are just twisted and somehow even evil. What puzzles me the most is that no one seems to care about this because it's mutual: I use you, and you use me, and at the end we are fine. This is how we are designed to be, but I don't want to be part of that, and I'm being punished because of this decision!!