Good evening Mr. Stranger!
Ok. I have trying to write this response all damn night...it is clearly just not happening.
I can't get out what I want to say because certain aspects of this post are extremely triggering to a very recent raw wound I have and not able to stay grounded. Keep getting hijacked! and I'm assuming that there is something much deeper being disturbed because no matter how many times I try I keep drifting off and getting postblocked!

But I don't want to leave you with nothing at all so I will leave you this link.Clusters
There are some disturbing aspects to this site. A lot of stuff on how to get people to do what you want and persuade people. IGNORE ALL THAT CRAP! like you I find that kinda stuff heinous and disgusting! But this pg. And site in general is one of the best online references for all things relating to the many many psychological and sociological theories of self, schemas, development, neurosis, perceptions and cognitive distortions, behavioural responses and modification tools and also on the sociological end speaks toward interpersonal relationship skills, theories on group dynamics, friendships, social interactions and pitfalls...life the universe everything...without all our mucking about in hyperspace!
Like I said great only as a reference! ...I use it like an encyclopedia.

I will try to msg you to discuss all of this further, as long as you're OK with that?.. because I really really think that you will find some truth and value in what I keep unsuccessfully trying to write! So maybe I'll have better luck in msg..because I think that some of my issue is that I'm trying to filter/talk around some stuff because of the public setting.
Hope you find some helpful insights on that link..and hopefully we can continue this discussion soon let me know! ~S♡☆