I think you have a point here. People with no experience of bad upbringing, no experience of fighting to survive, will not understand. Some might still understand because they do have burdens to carry themselves. When these people, on top of these hidden burdens get someone else's as well, they are too exhausted to carry more.

I think that if one can understand these two "elements" one is nearer to a better life than ever before. We have forums like these where we can share, but my experience is that if we rid ourselves of the hope that we might find somebody who understands in real life, we will feel much better.

There are so many factors that cooperate to make a depression going ( from genetic to social happenings and hurt). To drop the expectations of being understood and tell oneself that I'll beat the depression from here, step by step is hard, but as far as I understand: the only way to a better life with depression and other MI health problems.

To be honest, I think that the decision to take full responsibility for one's life regardless of whatever other people think (inclusive careless therapists) about us is a crucial stepping stone ....

I have found it workable to set apart a special time a day to work on all the hurts. So if old or new hurts present themselves during the day, I say to these thoughts/feelings: "Please stay away, I have no time for you now, but am glad to hear you through to night at seven o'clock.

It took me a long time to make such a strategy work, and I hope it will work for others as well.



PS. I did draw gravestones with my computer once and wrote the names of people who had hurt me: Started to know (date), Stopped the relationship with (date) or is dead to me from now on (date). It worked because I went back to all these "gravestones" and did the grieving there and only there, one by one.

I use the word "grief" because hurts from others in some way feels almost similar to the grief we have when someone dies.

To me it has always been a question about using the right tools for me, not about if others likes me or understands me. (That "method" has given me some good relationships). How well do we really understand the people we know ....