Thank you both

I'm just SO grateful for the support I receive here

It's so true that this pain will probably keep coming to the surface from time to time.. It's too big to feel and deal with all at once..

I'm going to try and learn how to tolerate painful emotions better so that I don't get freaked out every time they do come to the surface.. I want to be able to accept, feel, honour and release the emotions so I'm not holding on to the pain forever..