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dragonphoto said:
How do I cope? How do I cope with the fact that I am a selfish person? Such a selfish person that I cannot give what needs to be given. I cannot give to my family what I need to give them.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">dragonphoto, I remember reading your post yesterday in which you said you felt you had taken care of all your issues. I don't hear that in your words here at all. I think you have a lot more work to do to answer your very good questions above! I think your (individual) therapist can really help you on these issues. I hope you will keep going to therapy. This is what the therapists are there for.

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I keep pushing the issue of us getting this worked out. The reason why? Because I know that she is doing everything by herself and it hurts me to know that I am not there to help. OMG there I go being selfish again.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I don't agree. I think you are confusing "selfish" with having needs of your own. In a partnership, each person has needs of their own. It is a disasterous relationship in which one person tries to completely subjugate their own needs and focus only on fulfilling the other person's needs. Believe me on this, I've been there! It is important to recognize your own needs and to share them with your spouse. Your marriage counselor can help you with communication and learning to share and respond to each other's needs.

Take care. Good luck.