i had a mtbi a few years ago and have had continuing issues related to mood. i never quite feel the euphoric feeling many people experience with bipolar but everything else that bipolar exhibits. I knowingly and often feel "paranoid" although I feel I am not on the one hand but but feel others think I am. I go from low moods to outright anger homicidal thought mostly directed toward specific individuals. I dont believe I would ever follow through as I then come back from those thought to a more normal base.
I also have suicidal thought as well but they are not present during the rage episodes. They sometimes follow a day later or hours later and I get disgusted with my life, how i feel about myself etc... I am on medicine that is to treat tle but dont believe I have had a seizure like most people are familiar with although I am learning that the high\anger\irritability episodes could be a form of seizure. I experience strange sensations of deja vu and i never feel completely a sleep at night meaning I feel my brain is always on and not thinking about anything in particular but rather like its processing or trying to all of the past conversations\sound bytes\music etc that were heard during the day or in the past. I also have strong feelings of nostalgia and often have strong connections to the years that I would have been a small child even though I fee as an adult during those times.