this has happened with me and my boyfriend. i felt like i was the only one but then he told me he felt it too. whats really hard is that it makes it awkward to even act like we care about each other and it feels normal to feel that way. but then i remember how happy we used to be and i want that back.

so what i have found is that niceness and happiness etc is contagious. its a cycle. if youre mad, he gets mad at you for being mad etc etc. but it works the same vise versa. if you force yourself to be affectionate and nice they will return the favor. and if you feel cared about you will do it more also. its hard to take that first step but once you do its a snowball effect.

i have found that if im mad about something stupid and trivial i just tell myself "this is dumb. i dont want to feel this way anymore" and i make the first effort then it makes him feel so good that i want to try that he tries also and we both have felt a lot better. i know a lot of that probably sounds like jibberish but i cant really think of a better way to explain it.

a lot of us arent brought up to think that we deserve love. were put down by friends, parents, siblings - and over time we just dont think we deserve it. so we sabotage our relationships and we bring unhappiness where happiness used to be. thats why i truly believe that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. so you need to figure out why youre not allowing yourself to be loved by someone and to feel love back.

its very hard to look at your own flaws and its kinda heart breaking if you find something about yourself that you really dont like but you have to know yourself first. if you dont truly like yourself why would anyone else?

(didnt mean for all that to sound like crazy, drugged up like im sure it sounded lol. i promise im clean lol)