I may be just talking to myself here, but that may be what I need to do a bit more of. It's only a few months ago, that I got back on friendly terms with this person, after quite an extended period of estrangement. It seemed good that a relationship that seemed to have died hadn't. I even felt grateful to her for not giving up. We had over ten years' worth of shared experiences. This time would be different. Well, it hasn't been. I'm not really surprised. Can't say I'm heart-broken, or had high hopes that got dashed. But I do feel discombobulated and I want to learn from this what I need to take away, so I don't wastefully invest myself in what is going nowhere worthwhile. I don't want to stay stupid.

Being a lifelong semi-introvert, I haven't amassed a lot of experience in cultivating great relaationships. I guess I was trying to make the most of the few I stumbled into. It turned out that I was having my contributions to the process being consumed and not much reciprocated. Even with my sig. other, there's a lot of effort I expend on someone who doesn't have a whole lot to offer in return.

Relations with family have been similarly disappointing. I got what I thought was a nice gift. To make a long story short, the gift turned out to be stolen property. I wasn't expected to find out, but I did. Now the gifter is off my radar . . . possibly too embarrassed to contact me. And I feel bad about their embarassment.

I've been stopping by the local animal shelter, looking at adoptable dogs. I think, if I had to go to a desert island with just one companion, I'ld take a dog.

Meanwhile, I've spend the day doing next to nothing. I have the inertia that goes with depression, even though I don't feel sad . . . just tired and without the least motivation.