Seesaw -

People with good healthy boundaries do not have to have zero contact with challenging people to maintain their emotional equilibrium. They exercize some prudent control over where they allow a conversation to go. I may not be skillful enough to do that with her. It may be that I have to simply not talk with her, if I'm going to avoid getting upset by her. I may have to accept that, and I'm leaning in that direction.

I hadn't previously set a boundary of not calling her. That hadn't been where the boundary of my choosing was. However, perhaps, it needs to be.

There are all kinds of strategies for maintaining boundaries. No contact is one strategy - the most primitive and the simplest . . . but not the only possible strategy.