Anxiety is capable of many evil things, but if theres one thing its perfect at, its making us feel like there's only one way out and if we miss it, life wont offer another chance, ever again. Its a mind trap, an illusion created by anxiety to feed the fear that drives it. The truth is, as hard as it may seem right now to believe, its that as long as you breathe, there'll always be hope, a way out.

The other thing id like to add is that, you have to realise that anxiety, ocd, they're life altering illnesses. As such our first priority should be our health. Dreams are important but not as much as our health. The weight you put in your dreams should not be so heavy that you end up getting buried beneath it. From what i see, you are putting an awful lot of stock in your dreams. Changing the world is a beautiful sentiment, it shows how compassionate a soul you are, but its too big a goal for one person to carry out. The person who deserves the most compassion from you right now is 'you'. You have to think about getting well and once you are better, you can work on making a difference in the world. Dreams dreamt with a healthy mind will have better odds of coming true.

Remind your anxious mind that THIS is not the only way out. There are many ways, many roads waiting to take you to your destination. Its Okay, if you dont make it in the first attempt (your TOEFL test). You'll do better next time. Your english seems pretty good to me. You'll probably crack the test in the first go. There is no shortage of good Universities out there, number of ways to get into them. keep trying, something will work out for sure. Hopefully soon. Never let your mind tell you that there's just one way out, and just one shot to make it. Its a lie.