My father is still alive, but I think it won't be very long any more. And I know that I will be crying like hell when the day comes. But not about the father I had, but about the one I wanted to have.

No, grieving is not a failure for sure. I know 2 people who never knew their father, they had just walked away and never came back. But the day the message came in about his death they were crying gallons. About the father they wanted to have.