thanks for responding and it's ok I would have the same advice, it's just so much easier said then done

we've had over 10 years together and he doesn't' want to let me go and neither do I want to be let go

has anyone out there had similar situations being in an unhealthy relationship that goes in circles? or had to put up with their partner's wishes of having another partner?

And I do believe that most men are, by nature, polygamous. And because of the stigma attached to that they carry on their business in the form of an affair, which is just as damaging.

I know there are exceptions out there for sure, but there's no guarantees that you'll meet one of them and live happily ever after.