Thanks everyone

I'm not sure of the accurate diagnosis, definitely depression and anxiety, maybe hypomania, almost certainly complex PTSD
(I haven't found the doctors over here (uk) want to help much, (some of them have also lied to me) as I never crash so much I have to be hospitalised, although I avoid hospitals, I absolutely hate them..)
(There has been one doctor who I think wanted to help but in the "system" here that isn't really possible especially as I don't trust them )

I am due for a med review soon

PS one shrink a while back wrote "her mental state is unchanged" after I'd told him the meds were helping.

This was before I became allergic to so many meds (I'm scared to try new meds )