Hey, I haven't posted in a while because I'm actually making slow but positive improvements in my life. I've seen some success in my competitive hobby, my relationships seem to be less rocky than they were a few months ago, the medication I've started taking is now working. The voices are still there of course, but the frequency and strength has diminished. I'm still not where I want to be but a lot of progress has been made.

I decided it was time for me to start taking classes again, my university told me that if I take and do well in 8 classes at a community college they will accept me back to the Engineering school I wanted to do since I was 12 but ended up getting dismissed from. Getting dismissed from what you would call a childhood dream was what manifested my depression and has caused me years of regret. Now, this afternoon, after being away for 3 and a half years, I'm finally going back. I'm really nervous about this, but I've learned to not be afraid of failure, and this time I'm going to succeed in school because I want to, not because there is parental or societal pressure to do so.

Depression is such a horrible desease, and I'm afraid to be honest. I'm not going to say this is the last hurdle to jump between myself and a contented life, but it's by far the highest hurdle. Failure is what created my depression in the first place. Maybe I'm looking for good fortune by writing this out. Since discovering these forums, I've had a dumb goal of writing something in the depression success story sub-forum, and this is the first step.