I think the only way to get through this marriage and remain sane is to disengage, not to engage in arguments and spend less time together. Like since there are no kids at home, I wouldn't come home at 5pm, I'd get a second job or go to gym every night and arrive home right before night is over, wash and eat and sleep. I wouldn't come home early and wouldn't hang out every night. On the weekends I'd hang out with girlfriends. Or work second job, and attend Alan on meetings.

That's all I can advice. If the person can't or won't leave, there is nothing else they can do but disengage