Quote:
Originally Posted by CrispApple
Thank you for answering.
That's where you need to begin,that's what you need to focus on.Screw everything else for awhile,let everything else go and focus on that.
What do you need to do in order to make that happen?
Do you need therapy?Alanon?What exactly do you need to do in order to accomplish that?Think about yourself and what you need to do,don't take into consideration what he would think or feel or say,what others would think,etc.Only focus on that one goal for now,focus on what YOU need to do.
And then begin working on it.
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I'm sorry, but nothing will help. This is how I've always been, non confrontational. Sure I need therapy--lots of it--but I know even if I sat down with a therapist and looked her in the eye and said "I'm going to go home and tell my husband what I think" or "I'm not going to let his moods ruin mine" that I would never do it. I would just tell her I would and then probably lie about it next therapy session. It's so stuck in my mind that this is how I react and I don't want to rock the boat that I could sit there and tell her all this stuff, but I know even before starting therapy that I'd just go back to my old self. I cannot shake the horrible feeling I have when someone is upset with me. I cannot help but feel that as soon as I express my anger or sadness about something someone did or the way they acted, that they are going to hate me forever and never forgive me.
I mean, even right now I'm at work and I'm having a hard time focusing because I'm afraid he's going to be upset with me again tonight, even though he seemed fine when we went to bed. I can never shake that feeling of upsetting him, of walking on eggshells until I'm sure he's in a good mood.