Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Ok. I'm having a tough time with an analytical part of me that wants answers and reasons/explanations.
Luce, I have read your post too many time and that part of me is not getting it. That part wants more. I don't really have words.
I met with my counselor tonight and we talked about it. That part of me blocks any understanding of it.
This part, "What I have learned from my own experience is that if I depend on actual verification of the validity of the memories my others bring me before I will grant myself permission to accept their inner truth, then I will never be able to heal. The verification will never happen."
Please forgive me. I feel stupid because I don't understand what that means.
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my location words this same thing as being you dont have to know whether a memory is real or not in order to work on it. what matters is the feelings / emotions that this memory brings / makes you feel. sometimes there is no way to know whether a memory is real or not.
example....I have this one memory of people and a place. I knew the people and I knew the place but there was no way to find out if what happened in the memory was real or not... the place is gone, the people in the memory long gone and anyone who may be able to answer any of my questions are either too old, or have health issues that affect their memory or have long gone from this world...
so whats a person with this memory that is causing a problem supposed to do.. I could wait forever and I will never get my answers as to if this is real or not.
instead of focusing on whether the little piece of memory was real or not my treatment provider pushed questioning the memory out the window and refocused our attention and work on things like what emotions and problems that memory was causing me... panic, anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks....
it didnt matter whether the memory was real or not. what mattered was taking the memory at face value what in the memory was causing me to panic and other problems. we talked about the memory, and worked the EMDR process as it appeared not trying to read more into it like whether it was real or not, just took it at face value. this allowed me to work the memory out to where it no longer bothered me.