Kimmydawn wrote - "it's taken a long time to allow myself things that i allow others. i think the self loathing thing for me goes back to childhood and what was said to me...creating demands on self."

There have been so many wise words on this thread, but kimmydawn's quote sums it up for me. We find it soooo terrible to allow ourselves to make a mistake, to maybe be ignored, or rejected - OUCH those things hurt so much.

I think that for regular people rejection is a pain, but they can encompass it as part of the ups and downs in life. For people who have been overdosed with rejection in childhood, another rejection is a pointer to a (false) truth, that we are fundamentally 'bad' .

We take the downs as evidence of our badness, evidence that we are different from regular people.

Of course, this is self hate. It feels like it has taken me forever to gradually strip back the layers and find - to my absolute amazement - a regular person in there!

I imagine myself running through the streets singing and shouting, "I'm a regular person, I'm a regular person!"

It's not much to ask, but when you haven't got it................

Cheers, Myzen