So, Ive been depressed for like 2-3 weeks. Had a mixed episode or 2 too. Christmas is really really hard for me every year, so I fully expected that. Went to my doc yesterday, and she started me back on Zoloft for my depression and to stop obsessive thoughts (not SI, or anything bad. just racing thoughts)

So, today I woke up the same as usual, go the kids to school, etc. Came home, took a nap as usual.

Firstly, I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and I FREAK out with any test, scan, whatever I have to take. There is no history of ANY cancer in my family, I am perfectly healthy, etc, yet EVERY year, I convince myself that my mamm will come back bad and I will have something very serious. Silly, I know but its just how I am.

When I woke from my nap, my first thought was "I have a mammogram appt tomorrow" My mind went immediately to "Eh, who cares. Whatever."

VERY odd. Now this entire afternoon, instead of all the tremendous pressure, immense guilt, bad self image, etc., etc., It is GONE.

Even right now, I am cool, calm, rational, and collected. That SELDOM (if ever) describes me unless it involves my kids. I am somehow able to keep all my crazy from affecting my boys as much as possible.

I am not hypo, I have normal motivation, etc. I am STILL not panicking about the mamm even though if I think about the appt, my mind immediately goes to (I'm gonna die!) but it is instantaneously replaced by "whatever. it's all good"

Am I over analyzing? Is this what normal is? Has this happened to anyone else? I am not freaking or obsessing about this...I am just like "whatever" like with everything else!!! LOL!!!!!

What in the hell is going on???????