I really do honestly know how you feel. I did have people in my life..but they are all gone. I never did anything to deserve it other than being socially awkward and not knowing how to make and keep up with friends..but everyone I ever really cared about they left me. I am not a bad person. In fact I'm a really good honest loyal person. I don't trust or love or get close to people irl easily. Those that managed to get in my heart...I have and would still do anything for them...but they all disowned/ abused/used/abandoned/chewed me up spit me out like an old wad of gum that lost flavor/ and just left me and called me crazy, bad, useless, worthless and they never looked back...I was irreparable broken so young that I never even had a chance to be normal..but I kept trying and did the best I could to hide all the pain and damage away...to mimic normal...but I can't really ever pull it off and I have been condensed to a lonely empty nonexistence because of it...I never did anything to deserve anyone abuse or punishment and I don't deserve to not have a real life...but I can't trust anyone....not anymore...and never again...I have parts of me that have always been able to bounce back..figure out how to carry on...but I don't think there is a single part left of me that isn't broken...we will not die not in the physical sense...but rather shut up tight like a clam and never ever always anyone to get close enough to hurt us again ever..which means we just stay far away we will not die but will never really get to live either.

This song one of my all time favorites helped me get thru today.****very explicit lyrics***