I can most definitely relate. OCD is one of the few conditions I have not been dxd with.. but I have some traits intrusive obsessive thoughts implusive/compulsive self sabotaging behaviours and SI(derma in my case) . The behavior you describe in your relationship is similar to intense feeling I get..I was dxd with Borderline PD..because of this behaviors and thoughts. Many conditions have similar and overlapping traits so it would be best to consult a mental health professional especially if you feel out of control and/or your daily life functioning is become more difficult because of your symptoms
Hope you find some relief soon.
Be Well and Keep Writing!
- LITW