I think your problem is that you are intelligent and intellectual in a world that values social skills and emotions more than anything else. This is the problem of many intelligent people. As I mentioned before, sociable people are preferred over intelligent people if they lack social skills. This is true everywhere. I had this said to me in my face with an interviewer, though it wasn't about me. They want average people with good social skills more than autonomous intelligent people. I think party because intelligent people are very difficult to be coerced and make them follow orders.

Since dissertations in music require students to play pieces of music, I think it should be the department's role to have all of these logistics arranged, but eventually you need connections for your band. Maybe you can put an announcement about your dissertation. Since all music students need to play a piece of music, most likely you can help them if they help you. It seems acceptable to me because you can offer them something in return without going through the personal connection and keeping things professional. Just a suggestion.