Thanks for the responses I'm not on much at the moment, adderall for ADHD and a small dose of abilify, but it doesn't do anything anymore... I only still take it because I tried going off it and horrible withdrawals so I caved and took it again.

My basic story is I've been dealing with depression for over 10 years now, the last few years it's been pretty severe. Tried something like 17 different meds, nothing has had the slightest effect. Been through many therapists but that's never helped either.

I think my depression is maybe 50/50 "chemical" and situational, if that's much of a relevant distinction anymore... I'm married with two small kids, 5 and 2, and stay home with them in the mornings, then I work in a restaurant in the evenings. I guess it's just too much for me, being a mom, because that's my biggest source of misery. Thanks to the fatigue and depression I do nothing all day... let the kids watch as much tv as they want, I fulfill their basic needs but the house is a disaster, it's too much for my husband to manage, even though he ends up doing everything. All I do is sit on the couch and cry, which I hate exposing my kids to but I can't stop... I love them more than anything but I can't stand playing stuff with them, and I'm tired, so damn tired... and I have all the guilt for being a total failure as a wife and mom, it just piles on.

I don't know what to do anymore, it hurts so much... I'm barely functional at home, and while I can usually pull it together at work, that's getting hard too and I NEED to work, so I'm getting scared, it just seems to keep getting worse