@Lost_in_the_woods: I'm socially awkward/anxious and very sensitive that I see and feel things that others don't (maybe they are related). I'm easily hurt. Probably it has something to do with my upbringing (my parents were harsh and critical), but also I don't feel normal in a deeper and basic (genetic) level, because I have brothers and sisters who are sociable.

Unlike you, I haven't allowed people to be very close to me, because I couldn't tolerate more hurt, and it was from the beginning. I know this is about me. I'm different. Others form relationships successfully and go through their lives, although with (other) difficulties. What makes me feel bad is that I cannot have the basics in life and relationships (a real friend and/or a partner). Loneliness is driving me crazy lately. At first I thought it's a phase, but now I feel it's my new reality that I have to live the rest of my life. Both options are difficult for me.

I'm glad that song helped you through the day, but obviously we have two different tastes in music. I prefer the more calm and slow music that calms me and my nerves. I'm easily triggered with fast and loud music. I'm sensitive to light and sound, too

@here today: I tried joining groups online, but I had the same problem. I don't have any specific interest, so I joined general groups like socializing in a bar playing billiard or something. These groups assume you will be sociable, and if you don't socialize, no one will ask about you. So, I had to withdraw eventually.