I was tempted the other day to take down my facade in front of someone I was being introduced to. Take it down and be honest with a smile on my face while I say:

"Hello. I would say it's nice to meet you but it really isn't because I'm honestly fighting not to scream in your face, punch you in the jaw and run the other direction, and then I'll lock myself inside my room thinking that you're going to break into my house later and try to kill me. If I do none of that, I'm going to replay this meeting in my head a few twenty times and wonder if I upset you in some way; anxiety, you know how that is. I should probably inform you that the woman who wants to kill me -- you know, the same one that lives at the end of my hallway that no one else can see -- she would like me to punch you in the jaw right now. Don't ask me why, I just think she's my negative thoughts manifested in a hallucination/delusion (who knows anymore) and she's a real ***** these days. Personally, I think she could use some therapy and probably needs to be on some meds; but I digress. It really isn't you that's the problem, I think. I just know after replaying this visit that I'm going to replay a lot of other things in my head and think they're more real than reality; perks of the PTSD and all. Oh, and later I'll joke that I'm going to go home and wallow in self pity, you'll laugh along with my friend 'cause you all think I'm joking, but I'm not at all and I'm actually contemplating suicide.
How are you today?"